The first alter that I discovered I call The Monster. It's not her real name, but she refuses to tell me what her name is, so I call her this. I don't mean it to be offensive, but when she first started stepping forward, I had no idea what was going on. She would only step forward when I was extremely upset or angry, but she would take complete control over me and I would black out, never knowing until later what happened while she was in control. Now, The Monster is called a protector, as she guards my mental well-being, sometimes causing physical pain, cutting or self-harm, to do so. She acts as the Guardian in my, shall we call it, system.
Later came Kenzie, a sweet little girl that is no older than seven years, but is the only one that remembers whatever trauma caused the D.I.D.. Kenzie is the youngest alter so far, but carries the most sway over my day-to-day emotions. If she's sad, I'm sad. If she's hyper, I'm hyper. You get the gist of it, yes? Kenzie was my playmate and constant companion while growing up as my closest sibling was eight years older than me and had a life of his own. Kenzie experienced the trauma and remembers it while I do not and refuses to tell me, so I've no knowledge of what caused the disorder. Other than that, she is like every other little girl. She loves candy, cookies, and all things cute and fluffy.
Then, Eleanor stepped forward. Her role is one that I must say that I'm truly grateful for. She acts as the student almost. She pays attention where I do not as well as controls etiquette and manners in overly formal environments. She also acts as a mother figure to young Kenzie as well as the others. She does most, if not all, of my school work like taking tests/quizzes/exams, but unlike The Monster, she does not take full control or block me out. I am present most of the time, even if I barely recall what happened or what we had been working on. She's about nineteen, by the way.
Next Philip arrived and he is roughly seventeen years old with a very short temper. His role is one that is quite difficult to explain on a first try, but here it goes. He is an emotional outlet. Let me put it this way, think of him like a piggy bank and emotion is the money. When another alter takes over, they tend to reign in almost all of my emotion. Philip collects the remaining unexpressed emotions, almost like dropping coins in a piggy bank. When he steps forward, takes control of the body, he releases this overflow of emotion in fits of rage, bursts of happiness, or spurts of depression. Afterwards, the cycle starts over again and repeats as needed.
That's a lot of information, I know, but it's easier to get this part done in one entry that you can look back to for clarification if needed later on. For now, enjoy this image of an elephant with butterfly wing ears.
Good? Okay, next was the arrival of George, the paranoid protector of the body. George is thirty-nine years old and is ex-military. He acts as a literal guard of the physical body. He is always aware of our surroundings and keeps an eye on everything. He doesn't trust anyone outside of the body and is immediately suspicious of anyone we meet until proven otherwise. He rarely sleeps and it's not uncommon for him to wake me up in the middle of the night because he heard something and wants me to check all doors and the alarm, regardless of what time it is. His excuse? "You can sleep in school." Oh, and he's really protective of me and the other alters, like a fatherly figure.
After George, the spitfire known as Evelyn turned up. Evelyn's role is similar to what was once Kenzie's role until I grew older while Kenzie didn't. Evelyn is my constant companion, she's always with me, front with me, whereas the others have to deliberately step forward. Evelyn is about sixteen to seventeen years old and really is a spitfire. She has the most attitude out of all of the alters.
The most recent alter to pop up is Aspen. She's the comic relief of the bunch. When I'm sad or kinda down, she steps forward and makes me, and other people around me laugh. She is pretty much a clown, but dresses like a medieval court jester. Shown below is kind of what she looks like.
So these are the alters that I've found so far. Each has his or her own style, personality, and role to play. I'll keep you posted as I find out more about my alters and D.I.D. in general. As always, any feedback or questions about the disorder or anything in general really are welcomed and very much appreciated.
So Long For Now,
-M
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